Choose Your Words

Proverbs 16:24 - “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” 

I was talking with Pastor Lou recently about the interactions we have with the people around us and how impactful those interactions can be. Sometimes we don't realize just how much our words and actions can affect someone else.

I've honestly had that conversation on my mind all week. And then, of course, life gave me an opportunity to put it into practice.

This week at work, I was dealing with a company that I felt was constantly giving me the runaround. We had finally completed a project, and just a few months later, something started throwing an error code. I contacted the company and received a quote for a crazy amount of money for something I felt should have been covered under warranty.

And let me tell you, in that moment, I was NOT thinking about Pastor Lou's lesson. I was thinking about calling them, asking for a manager, and making sure they knew exactly how frustrated I was. I had already planned the conversation in my head.

But after some time had passed, I stopped and thought, “Do I really need to give this person an earful? Or can I simply say, ‘Hey, this doesn't seem right. Can you help me understand what's going on?’”

So that's what I did. It turned out there had been a mistake. The work was covered under warranty. 

Did the woman thank me for being kind? No. Did she tell me how much she appreciated that I didn't jump down her throat? No. But maybe that's not the point. I'm sure I didn't make her day worse.

Sometimes doing the right thing isn't about being recognized for how kind we were. Sometimes it's simply about doing what is right, even when nobody notices.

I think we all struggle with this. We are told to stand up for ourselves, and there absolutely are times when we need to do that. But learning the difference between standing up for ourselves and fighting back can be difficult.

I recently talked with one of our school-age kids about this. We discussed the difference between protecting yourself when someone is truly trying to hurt you and hurting someone back because they hurt you first.

If someone is physically trying to hurt you, protecting yourself is important. But if you're playing basketball and someone elbows you, turning around and elbowing them back just so they feel what you felt is different.

One of the hardest things in life is learning the difference between fighting for what is right and fighting because we want someone else to feel the way they made us feel.

James 1:19 tells us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” That doesn't mean we never speak up or allow people to mistreat us. It means that even when we have every reason to be frustrated, we still get to choose how we respond.

Luke 6:45 says, “the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” What comes out of us when we're angry, disappointed, inconvenienced, or hurt can reveal a lot about what is happening in our hearts. So this isn't just about choosing better words. It's about allowing Jesus to change our hearts so that what comes out of us reflects Him.

My challenge for all of us is this:

Before you respond, ask yourself, “Am I standing up for what is right, or am I trying to make someone feel the way they made me feel?”

Then ask, “What would it look like to respond the way Jesus would want me to respond?” We may not always get it perfect. I certainly don't. But we can pause. We can choose our words. We can choose kindness. And we can choose Jesus.

God, help me every day to make Jesus’ decisions. Help me to be kind regardless of the situation. Help me to stand up for what is right without trying to hurt those who hurt me. Help me to be slow to anger, careful with my words, and aware that the way I treat people matters, even when no one notices. Change my heart so that the words that come out of me reflect You. Amen.